Doc Brown IS a Flux Capacitor!

BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS:

Christopher Lloyd was found dead in his Brentwood Estate this morning. The L.A. County Coroner’s Office has ruled it accidental at this point, but are not saying the cause of death. The only information disclosed so far is that he was electrocuted by approximately 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity. Electricians have stated that the only thing powerful enough to generate that kind of power is a bolt of lightning.

Bagel Brothers Launch Fishy 'Shmear' Campaign!

RESTAURANT NEWS

Dublin, OH

Einstein Brothers, a successful bagel empire out of Golden, Colorado, announced a new flavor today that has people wrinkling their noses in disgust.

Ever since they were formed, Einstein Bros. has been famous for their trademark “Shmears,” which are simply bagels with a different flavored cream cheese on each of them. Flavors range from Chive and Onion to Acai berry. Today’s announcement brought surprise to all. In honor of breast cancer awareness, PR Vice-President Caleb Flemming revealed the flavor-of-the-month.

– The Pap Shmear.

The flavor of the cream cheese will not be revealed, and most people don’t want to try it out first. It is white with a slightly pink tinge, and they also include a long cotton-swab to spread it on with. Some women are finding thios too familiar, and hate that “eating a bagel could be such an uncomfortable experience”.

Predicitions of the flavor failing have littered restaurant web boards, on the tail of last year’s bagel release, “Shmear the Queer.” Gay protesters lined streets all around Einstein Bros. locations, until one gay decided to actually taste the bagel, which ironically enough, tasted like dog penis.