Pooh gets Flushed in Finland!

BREAKING WORLD NEWS!!!!

Kildsjevsik, Finland

Finnish television executives announced today that television shows containing Winnie The Pooh would be banned from here forward due to a recent misinterpretation that caused a massive uproar from parents.

Translated into 74 different languages worldwide, Winnie The Pooh is the 18^th most popular children’s show in existence. Finnish lawmakers were determined to make that non-existent in their country.

After new translation software was introduced last month, automatic overdubbing was made possible for all television, cutting down translation time tremendously for manual translators. The problem: Pooh translated directly in Finnish means “Sh#@.” Numerous children were overheard at lunchtimes all over the country, repeating the profanities whilst consuming their meals of raw fish and dung-beans.

Though the technical difficulty would have been easily explainable on a PR level, Finnish lawmakers and television executives decided to blame it on the show, calling it vulgar and profane.

A comparison could be made with their decision to cover it up to when the Finns blamed the Holocaust on Germany over 60 years ago….. A reputation for horrific murders that stuck to this date. Believe it or not, Hitler’s real name was Helf Djuglen.

Hitler and The Duke: Pawn Stars!

IDIOTS IN THE NEWS

Corpus-Christi, TX

Hal Fackerel entered a local pawn shop on Thursday, claiming to own Hitler’s couch. When asked by shop-owner Bruce Kerg to prove it’s origination, the man pointed to a swastika carved into it’s hardwood arm. Once the shop owner pointed out that underneath the swastika it read “Hal Was Here”, the man admitted defeat and exited the shop. Shop-owner Bruce stated that he once had a woman come into his shop claiming that she owned the lasso used by John Wayne in True Grit. Upon closer inspection, Bruce was able to ensure the woman that John Wayne would have never used a nylon boat anchor tie-off for a lasso.