Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts

Monday, February 1, 2010

VanWinkle on Ice!

BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS

Detroit, MI

Rapper Vanilla Ice, a.k.a. Robert VanWinkle, was arrested Tuesday after he was caught waxing a chump like a candle. The chump was actually a homeless man named Jack Berrard, who suffered serious injury to his right eye.

In 2003, VanWinkle was also jailed for allegedly bum-rushing a speaker that boomed in his neighbors’ Detroit home and for cooking MC’s like a pound of bacon in a restricted forest area. He served 2 months and was placed on probation for 1 year after pleading guilty. Tuesday’s occurrence surprised locals, who labeled Vanilla as someone having great generosity and kindness. “If there was a problem, yo he’d solve it,” said Irma Baddington of Southfield. “During our neighborhood watch meetings, we could always count on Rob to collaborate and listen. He was a great part of the organization.”

Once his court date is scheduled, attorneys expect his trial to flow like a harpoon. On the contrary, in the past VanWinkle has defended himself in court…At times rocking the mic like a vandal.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Michigan Lamb Chops Cause Heart Attack!

BREAKING NEWS!!!!




Livonia, MI






Michigan
housewife Amy Vargas is in critical condition after finding the severed head of a mountain sheep in her living room. Rigor Mortis actually cause the head to “baa” at her when she moved it, causing her to go into cardiac arrest. Police aren’t saying who might have placed the head (found inside a Toshiba television box), but they suspect her neighbor, Tom Morris. Morris is renowned for the 1997 shooting of 18 mountain sheep at the Detroit Zoo.