Burger King Gives Kids a Mouthfull!

BUSINESS NEWS:

Dilburn, IN

Fast-Food Giant Burger King announced a plan today that has some people cocking their heads…

In an effort to raise sales, whilst promoting safe sex, Burger has announced that they will be handling out “Hamburger-Flavored Condoms” with each kids meal purchase.

“We feel that more and more 7-year olds are sexually active today, and we want to be at the forefront of the STD battle,” said Burger King Spokesman Ronald Franz. “If a kid goes home with one of our burger condoms, not only will he or she be more prone to think twice about having underage sex, but in the case that they do, we can guarantee you won’t get laid again after slipping on a rubber that tastes like ground beef.”

Franz was also behind the controversial Burger King marketing ploy of 2005 in which Dunce hats were given out to people who paid for their meals with checks. “We feel that if you are paying with a check, everyone should know that you’re stuck in the 50’s. If it were legal, Burger King would put rat poison in their meals, but I think we’re only a few years off from the government allowing us to do that.”

The condoms will come in Cheeseburger and Guacamole-Burger flavors, and will also have the option of Rainbow Brite Diaphragms for the girl’s kids meals.