Headless Webster!

BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS!!!

Wilmont, DE

Child Celebrity Emmanuel Lewis, star of the 1980’s television hit Webster, was found dead in his Wilmont home Friday, authorities said. Apparently, the 3’6” man had been decapitated by a pool table.

The only witness to the accident was a seven-year-old friend of Lewis’ named Gilbert Perkins. Apparently, Perkins had called Lewis a Hobbit, at which time Lewis proceeded to chase Perkins around his basement recreation room with a tack-hammer. Perkins ducked under a pool table to escape Lewis, at which time Lewis’ low-clearance head connected with the side-rail of the table, knocking it clear of his body.

Neighbors reported hearing a sound much like a pop-can being opened, which inevitably was the sound of Lewis’ head being removed from its socket. One of Lewis’ neighbors called police at that time.

Perkins was taken to a local hospital to be treated for shock. Authorities say that no charges will be pressed against the boy, especially since they felt that being chased by a dwarf with a tack-hammer was a lesson enough in itself