OK to be Gay!

IN THE NEWS

Reuters, NY

A recent study has shown many reason why it is not “OK to be Gay,” outraging many residents of San Francisco, Boulder, and the Nut & Bolt Lounge in lower Manhattan.

Students from Asperville Community College in rural Oklahoma have listed the following as citations not to be gay:

1) Annual Budget Increases – the average gay individual spends $2,870 more per year on leotards and purple vests than the straight person. Contrastingly, Ass-Less Chaps sales only contribute to $400 more per year

2) Higher Health Costs – Gay people reportedly submit 78% more lower back pain claims to their providers, and 268% more requests for Colonoscopies.

3) Impact on the Recording Industry – Annual record sales for Barbara Streisand and Bette Midler rose 41% in 2008 when they released their new albums, compared to the steady decline of sales in all other categories. Oddly enough, record sales in the Showtunes genre failed to reflect the numbers of its gay counterparts

4) House Fires Increased – Over the 10 year period studied, house fires in gay households rose a traumatic 89% after the magazine Gay-Pride Monthly published it’s article entitled “You can make Creme Brulett at home!”